Its never advantageous for you to mention another, all mentions will be noted in the negative, why not to mention anyone, without their permission, or mention for interpretation for how you feel about someone, whether or not you are happy for someone, or remember something, that sounds like you feel as though another harmed you, if you have been in someones life, as an employee, no matter what the circumstance was, if they were nice to you, does not always mean that anything that has gone wrong, without mention, has not bothered them or been the cause for their instability or your own. Never call attentions to anyone specific, its likely to attract an audience, of unwanted attentions in life, and whether or not you can feel that difference in attention toward you, results in a stress, an unwanted stress, and that’s not a disconnect from who you were compared to how you are viewed now, that’s without expectation for it amounting to something remembered about you, that causes you not to feel good about yourself, and its not always through a misrepresentation of you, usually thought deserved brought upon you, thinking that you are not connected situated among the well or deserving to do well, others may not photo the same, everyone will appear differently, some more affected than others, but in order for those immediately reviewing your work, how you are, what you say, who is connected to you, the beauty in life, is being able to speak freely its not in who is around you that words are spoken, or that ideas are made, or readings created, based upon anyone watching you, knowing you or reading you, all input affects your output, whether or not you can control that or your tone, even if you get voices, which is not your voice, or how you sound, if it affects you, that is what is being tested for annoyance, tolerance, or change to sickness or wellness. What is deserved? I think if you get sick upon anyone not liking you once, you will get sick upon someone not liking you again, and that’s talking to men, if you are not well, they don’t want to know you, youre hard to talk to, their disinterested in you, if anything bad happens to you, theyre upset with you, and you don’t feel like yourself able to be your loving self. So recognize what is done to you and why, don’t be defensive, report it, and do your best to get well even if your head hurts, you don’t feel smart, not able to start law school until a year later after getting into a new school, all traumas take time to heal. -Later if you improve if you are read its not because you are talking about your troubles, or because you are important its because what youre saying makes sense and is of value, and that can all change if your life shortens, if you get sick, if you stop being unmotivated, if you give up, or if you lose confidence. You get let back into life once, after disappointment, and it’s a steep hill to climb past disappointment, your head hurts, you may self-harm, anyone who has seen you upset, will not see you as strong, will see you as pathetic, will treat you as a threat, will not see you as a woman, its men who get upset with you, think that they have that right like you connected to them, and they are you watching you and trying to change you and observe you, its my life too Ive been improving: running everyday, posting everyday, reporting if I need help, not complaining, not threatening suit, if someone is upset that means stop, that’s not because Im going to get angry snap or hit my head, that’s my head I only have one brain, and if I get sick, I cannot hand stress, I cannot handle voices, I cannot handle photography, I cannot handle conversation, I cannot handle work, and then how am I supposed to live the rest of my life, when I look different than I sound, if Im not well enough to work or be loved, then where is that pain coming from what rejections in life, what judgements, and that’s how you go downhill in life, that’s not being old, that’s your body giving up on you, and that’s you not being left alone, and being attacked as though your integrity is non-existing, that’s how a life gets shortened, without the ability to work and stay well around others, and its really nothing to complain about, its if you say something that someone is doing to you, then they do something to you to say that you are doing something to then, then if its you that’s not doing well, then its you that’s reading into them, then you get sick, and they feel better, then they connect, then they feel good, then you feel worse, and you feel sick, and that’s having no one in life, that’s them blaming you, then wanting you to describe them, then its who takes ownership of what has happened to you, is it you what your saying, is it them thinking you are talking about them, or is it you that feels sick, and that’s what has caused their loss in motivation for attacking you, when is the stopping point, if they don’t stop, then I don’t stop about how I have been harmed, and then when is the point that others give up on you, when you don’t sound well anymore, when you are not doing well, when no one new can accept you, then its you not positive, and if they are not positive about you not doing well, then what is the point for a temporary emotion that they can snap out of, worth to cause a permanent injury to me to illustrate another joke of someone who gets threated suit, self-harms, so no one cares, and that’s the cycle of violence, that’s the script to be followed, who last did not like you and why, what is going on in your life, and that’s the power they feel, seeing you not connected to you, and then you not feeling like you, and no one connected to you, then what is your worth? All the magical things that happen in life, occur when you are well, that is when you graduate, that is when you are loved, that is when you can get a job, that’s when everyone is happy around you, and if you do anything stupid, or something stupid is being done to you, then that’s how you lose everything then how long will it take in order for me to do well again, that was my last opportunity to move forward in life Ive been applying for a paid position since 2008, I got one paid position 2018, chose to work in film convinced work to pay, then got sick let go, and that’s how life is, you either buy into ideas and do well, or there is nothing for you later in life, and if you are 35 you don’t have time to invest in anything that you can sick, or not recover from physically or mentally so its not important to bring that up, to justify anyone for furthering a disability to see if you can handle negativity in life or loss of control, and some don’t recover. So its not necessary to hurt someone publicly they are not to blame, for travels, for deals, for lawsuits, for sides, a book is not about blame or bad ideas or misleading covers, and to stop violence its not about nudity, talking about anyone, mentioning countries, or sharing all my belonging and timeline, I don’t hide anything from the courts, I share everything, so if Im doing well I have reported everything, they know everything they are not blaming everyone and that means that Gods job has been done, so don’t treat anyone like they are nobody or not helping an already stable situation, if I wasn’t of value to President Trump, he would not have gotten COVID, when I got hurt and made to loolk stupid, that means real people have been helped by me, and that means that their body is in disagreement over who is getting sick or why, so know that much in life, that bodies are dependent upon one another to do well in life, and that’s not to say that a regular body doesn’t deserve to feel special, all people deserve to feel special, and all that wellness should be evenly distributed to all, not given to one person, not held by one identity, and that was a rare instant in which someone who was punished was able to do well, and that’s not to be famous alongside any famous defendant, that causes mental illness to me.
Ive stated my weaknesses, thats not to help someone hurt me: (1) I don't like excitement (2) Fame is not the solution for violence (3) I dont identify by race or religion or defend people who think its OJ (4) I dont need to be hurt to learn a lesson or be made fun of to shrink my ego (5) Thats not my ego thats my heart and thats my head taking care of my body (6) I dont need to experience life to know about life to talk about life (7) I dont need love to feel pretty, and companionship is not marriage and property (8) I own my body and my face and my life, and I worked hard to have my body my face and my life (9) Only a few people were proud of me and finally happy for me, and they all got hurt (10) If everyone is hurt I cannot go to the hospital I have to get help and help everyone (11) If everyone is okay, and COVID is rising, and mental health issues dont help, why I went down (12) If you are well and then you get sick because someone is mean to you, its by what you say (13) If everyone sees death and they see you, and dont see you as affected, thats how you get hurt (14) If no one knows when to stop when I say stop thats because they want to compare me to OJ (15) OJ is not my God, he is not my client, I grew up around him, and I did my best to not die too. (16) Im not suicidal, I get voices, and I dont have to say what voices are saying to say why my head hurts. (17) If voices are reinforced by people harming me thats so they can build a lawsuit. (18) The purpose for building a lawsuit, is to mischaracterize me in unison, and blame me. (19) The purpose of blaming me in unison, is so that I dont belong anywhere dont feel good anywhere. (20) It takes many years to get going again, be smart. I said fighting causes me illness, why Im sick. (21) If I dont defend myself and things get worse, then how am I supposed to do well elsewhere. (22) The importance for you seeing what I sound like mentally ill, me being well is more important. (23) If someone is not interested in me, and my attentions wander, thats not permission to attack me. (24) Dont attack me on their behalf, dont cause me suicide, and dont cause me self-harm, I wrote them: 8yrs. Originally Written 03-05-21
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AuthorLeslie Fischman Archives
July 2021
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