And 2020 another example or recovered and looks stupid, humiliated in public, and then notified of humiliation, this person doesnt care if I live or die, doesnt respect me or my family, and thinking everything is about him, that was about food poisoning in the Phillippines. I dont need you to end my life, I dont need someone random to shoot me down to let me know that I dont know a thing about life, and I dont need to be put down to protect the wellness of others, if I am already suffering thats not a win for me, or a loss, thats cause for giving up in life, not trying, if this is all I have and what helped me to recover from mental illness, then why make me go through mental illness again, and in public be looked at for reaction for voices, just to shine light on all the ideas and concepts you had lined up about me in life, to prove, as though I would blame anyone for my luck in life, I create my own luck or wellness in life, and thats by being good, not by being loud and mentally ill, thats being unhappy. How can you expect me to live, being treated like a piece of $hit, mentally ill, retarded, and a whore, who the F do you think you are to ruin my life, hurt my confidence, and allow mental illness and voices to destroy me, hurt my intelligence or control me, and act like youve done nothing wrong, and then expect me to speak to you, until you feel better, forgive you as though thats okay to be trashed online, Im a real mind, and a real body, and it hurts when I work hard, and then get hurt when I am well. When I am well, that took years to get to that place of peace, kind enough to talk to others, well enough to hold conversation or be attractive in the least, now my head is small, I have punched my head, because of voices, now I am not pretty, and now its me giving up in life, to enable or make okay what communications about me as though I have failed in helping others, or that it is my cares that have caused me mental illness, and treat me as though me caring is for me a push in life to care, now its a push in life to care, missing appointments, missing therapy, find out its Thursday, thats getting beaten up on life, and thats to treat me as though my condition improved by blog, then force me to start over in life, when Ive barely made it in life at all, I have to be well to work, if I am not well I cannot work, and if others do not like me then I stay home, those are my choices in life, dont treat me like I have options. Re: nude photos posted of me to make me look grose and used up or seem as though I am getting well to attract attentions from all, if I am now not well, then I am nothing to look at, a waste of money shopping, a waste of money going to two law schools, and a waste of time and energy flying to DC, and a waste of time improving or losing weight, that means that I have not helped, and if I am not well, means I have done something wrong to deserve to die, and thats how you get set up in life, based upon how you look and sound deemed the responsible one, and thats when others become convinced your the problem. Im sorry I cared. I can go back to sleeping all day, and stay in my room, apparently not worth going out back into the world or meeting others.
Originally Posted: 10-08-20
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AuthorLeslie Fischman Archives
July 2021
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