As a blogger you simply can’t block people from your life, that’s the unfortunate aspect of blogging, you have to be on good terms with most, a writer simply doesn’t fair well with enemies, or upon disagreements in life, tends to create a certain illness within that gets projected outward, which no one wants to feel that sense of discomfort, watching you live your life, and then seeing how your life is lived in private as shared out loud, by someone you once considered a trusted confident, if theyre not your doctor you are not obligated to share or explain your life, your well being, who you are inside and out, and especially not your sexuality with anyone who only wants more and more from you, and is not made happy with what you are willing to provide to them, that usually brings out grose content, content created in discomfort is usually not your best content as expressed, and that discomfort can be felt by anyone watching, that you are not comfortable with looking that way, posing that way, and sharing in that way, with someone in private, and only causes further embarrassment in public shared under the false pretenses of being a “fan page” while meanwhile, putting me down in private, as not being sexual enough in private, and because I was not sexual enough in private, illustrates that I am not in love with this person, or am no longer in love infatuated with this person. Once someone hurts you its hard to maintain the same loving rapport and trust, and this is where this person is wrong, and where one is going wrong, sharing photos of me in poor taste, per his direction, and against my will my comfort, and sharing beyond what I am comfortable sharing in public, what I look like when Im trying to be sexy to someone who wants to see me trying to be sexy, half nude, or naked, and expecting more and more, and Im am just not willing to have sex on camera, of show my boobs or genitalia in private, that’s just something Im not willing to do. Once someone takes advantage of your kindness and freedom of expression in private, it becomes a he said she said, battle, of someone writing and writing, and as you respond and respond trying to keep things amicable without fighting, its only until this person is made calm or in a loving mood that things are resolved while meanwhile Im hitting my head stressed out at night (twice) getting texts before bed, after meds, aggravated to the point I cant sleep made to be awake again and frustrated, only to be further disturbed upon checking the same images are up of me, portraying me as disgusting and overweight to pose half nude as obese 192 lbs, and spreading misinformation about me, soliciting his page as a fan page (not approved by me) while making me look desperate for love. At this point Id rather date in real life, and have since reconnected with an old flame. –Eventually you grow out of experimental phases in life, including friendships made online in private or in public, and dating online on messenger, with people managing accounts for public figures, who respond. It doesn’t make sense to me, why naked photos are requested for, and money is requested for, its like they share love with you, and by the time you realize that this person is only being loving toward you to see to what length you are willing to go, sharing wise, to have a relationship, that you feel at a loss in life, lost money, and loss of love for them, and yourself. The whole point of communication is to help, inform, be loving towards, not to disturb, aggravate, fight, and complain, its like if I don’t send money or photos, they become unhappy with me, and inflict blame toward me and play victim, as with expectation that I am supposed to stay this fun loving person, after I have been harmed by them which they are unwilling to admit to, thinking its deserved to hurt me, because love has been lost, then claim to have loved me, and after having benefited from me, after I have been harmed by them. They don’t seem to care if Im having a bad day, if I don’t feel well, if Im hitting my head, if Im throwing up, if I have an interview, if I have a deadline, always causing more and more stress upon any important moment in my life, they don’t even care or proud of me for graduating. No one gives me time to be happy, to be alone, to recharge, they expect everything now. Stay calm you can always call the police to talk, and submit take down requests.
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AuthorLeslie Fischman Archives
July 2021
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